NCIS "Late knowledge"
Title: Late knowledge
Fandom: NCIS
Author: Kathy
Pairing: Jenny / Gibbs
Rating: 16
Content: Jenny leaves a night with Paris " almost consequences "pass through once again.
Disclaimer: The characters of the story based on the series "NCIS" (engl. title: NCIS).
The story was the sheer fun of the series and to write. It is used for commercial purposes. My only reward is hopefully a lot of nice feedback. May still emerging spelling and grammar errors are covered by artistic freedom and be mine
Comment: No comment on , all thoughts related to the SC again in the lines.
Beta: THX to Mrs. Mallard
Prologue:
It is strange how almost-forgotten events, but one can employ sustainable. How do they do it suddenly, the decisions made in a different light to dive and catch a related thoughts again. How often do you wonder then, if one had done it with the knowledge of today different then. I do not know. I have no answer. Right now I only know that I am the evening with a glass of bourbon in hand alone spend in my office chair. That I actually wonder if my life would be so different if my decision at that time would have been different.
***
trust, a definition that I understood I had always to interpret in my own form. Interpreted in the form in which they cause the least damage was, and still had ready the best for me. A sort of confidence, of course I expected from others and received, I was even willing to give but not always. Out of pride, fear, out of ambition - I do not know. When I saw Jethro at the office I face, I could read even after all these years, the familiarity in the depths of his blue eyes. A trust, which I unfortunately did not always appreciate. A mistake, as I know today, but still I could not then otherwise. I know I can trust him with my life. Always and at all times he was and is there for me, but in Paris I had to figure out just what the right thing and especially what was most important for me.
Then:
It all started in a muggy night in Paris. The day had been oppressively hot, hardly a breeze wandered through the streets and alleys of the city. The warm air was like a second wall in front of the houses and took the body of any energy. Every movement and every handshake was dropped to. Even his own thoughts seemed caught in a warm haze. We were both exhausted. Almost all day we had been brooding in a hot car on the lookout. Even had the luxury of a cup with crushed ice, which Jethro to my delight, some worried where it did not manage to bring the hoped-for cooling. To this was close proximity to him, here after our first night together in Paris, not the partnership heartedness as in the beginning had. They had given an impassioned stress. A tension that could change, especially in situations like this with a good amount of adrenaline in a dangerous mixture. No matter how hard we tried, to let our personal feelings and emotions aside, they were still omnipresent. Every gesture, every touch and every little look of it was a wave of desire to move. A wave, which was hard to stop, and of which I knew it was just like him. Even though we almost never talked about it, but we were aware of the over. In quiet, free moments, we managed to give the whole an air of normality, satisfaction and happiness. Moments in which we succumbed like two ordinary people the magic of the city of lovers. Romantic dinner, where we sat together and laughed together. Long walks along the Seine, where we just silently enjoyed our happiness go hand in hand. Passionately lived through nights that we forgot everything around us. Moments, as beautiful memories stick in the memory remained. I do not know how long we have been waiting on this one evening. As long as we watch the inconspicuous jewelry store in a small side street. I just know that everything went very fast. It must have been late, because hardly any people were on the road. Only a few scattered pedestrians who, searching in vain, after cooling, were staying in the open air. The shutters of the jewelry store were closed long ago. Through the glass front door, a light beam fell on the road, suddenly after a long period of waiting went out. Two persons left the store and separated after a few steps. Our target turned into an adjacent lane. We did not have much time. We had to act when we do not want to lose. My nerves were stretched to rip, as we started with the weapon at the ready on the road. I still felt Jethro volatile, tender kiss on my lips before he jumped from the car and gave me to understand at a glance, to stay behind him for cover. Because we both had very accurate memories of Prague in the memory. The ball slammed into my thigh and the associated knowledge of their own vulnerability. The finding, inter alia, the trigger for both of us to cross the self-imposed rule - had been - no relationship with colleagues. As so often we got blind at this moment. It did not need many words to know what the other thought. And even if I spoke out against Jethro never over, I realized, despite his honest effort and concern in his eyes. His concern for me that showed me once more what I meant to him. The made me happy and satisfied. Although concern has always been visible in his eyes, she had become aware of me as an afterthought. Like the many little things that I always had taken for granted. His empathy, his tenderness and gentleness, which he never was on public display and kept mostly hidden. Things that you learn to appreciate until you lose it. Slowly, his finger ready on the trigger, I crept along at some distance behind him. Pursued his every move, trying some of the rest which he aired absorb into me. The dark shadow of the houses gave us cover, but also difficult to look at our target. After a few steps the man had disappeared into nothingness. The street was empty, only a cat mewl penetrated our ears. But obviously we were discovered, because before we knew it, more balls hit to the right and left, before and behind us. Witted Jethro took me with him into a narrow house niche. Before I understood correctly, I even heard the shots of his gun. Shortly after that I had shot my clip is empty. Breathing heavily, we leaned, close to the other more than aware of close to one another. For a moment we both listened to the sudden silence when we heard a car drive up and forced us to re-shots for cover. The situation seemed hopeless, but we were literally trapped. But suddenly It was and remained silent. Only the subsequent squealing of car tires and the roar of an engine told us that we were alone again. Our target person had received some unexpected help and had escaped us. A short interlude not unknown to us during our agents time and yet again different. Different because the mutual concern about each other suddenly had received a much more important. My heart was racing fast. I took a moment to be able to think clearly again and breathed deeply. Only then did I notice the pain in Jethro's face, he looked like the lips pressed together and his hand was resting on the hip with blood. It was all gone so terribly fast. I had not noticed that he was injured. Fear suddenly seized upon me, even more intense than in the immediate moment of danger. The fear for him, the stronger and more powerful than anything else. As always, he tried to reassure me with a smile, but his blue eyes could not hide the pain. The teeth clenched, he pressed his hand firmly on the wound and gave me to understand that I should not even have the idea to bring him to the hospital. Since I knew saying that would bring us a hospital stay are tough questions, I brought him to the hotel. We had a good medical education and were also quite experienced in dealing with such situations, but I was treated some time later, barely able to his wound. My hands were shaking when I cut open the blood-stained shirt and the waistband of his trousers pulled gently over the hips. Jethro had the whole thing even after a pain pill that he took only reluctantly, and undergo a strong shot of whiskey rather than the left. He started of course when I disinfected the wound and bandaged with a compress. His look told me, however, that he seemed to enjoy this painful even touch, because his hands began to study to know whether I was also injured. He did not stop to signal exactly in spite of the pain of what he wanted. And despite the excitement of the last hour of me would really slow to give way, she built by his passionate touch it again, and at the same time completely differently. I enjoyed it to the fullest, and said it was only too happy to his claim. The frenzied palpitations important one expectant tingling, the underlying fear is an exhilarating feeling of happiness and a liberating instinctual tension relaxation. We made it in the noise that night without caution to forget everything around us. A noise that I was almost fatal and let me think inevitably as to whether it was all worth it to me and it really was what I wanted.
***
I still remember the weeks after. It went on hectic, nerve-wracking and dangerous. No date on which it was not to make an important decision. be unmasked is hardly a day that we were not about to. enough to where only a small error would have to leave us either dead fish from the Seine or the rest of the time in a French prison to spend. Weeks of mental stress, which introduced me and my feelings for Jethro to the test. Stress, not only me but my body did very upset. Although I longed at that time more than ever for his presence, his touch and his tenderness, I could not leave my skin and pulled me back from him. Of course he did not escape my restraint. He wanted to know what was wrong with me and it hurt me to see his disappointment. He knew me well enough to see that my protestations that all was in order, only excuses were. Even alone at the twitching of my eye he saw well that I did not tell him the truth, they did not tell him. The ongoing events kept us happily for me, but so much breath that it was no time, more research on the why. For the reasons that made me go to him at a distance. How could I tell him also require that something had happened, what had thrown me completely off track? How could I tell him that my period had failed and I was afraid of him to be pregnant? Pregnant? Unimaginable, but we find I, except for this one fatal Night, had always been careful and it really could not have happened. How should I tell him that I was not with the idea to have children make friends, could? I realized once again that it was not what I wanted. I was not ready to commit myself to someone and I would certainly not associated with the life consequences. That was not the goal, which I followed. In my direction no place for a family and children equally was not. How should I handle it, but where I had myself too much afraid of the truth? Afraid of the consequences if it had come true. Fear, the decision I would have inevitably have to make. Which would probably been easier for him than me, which I wanted to leave him not. Because even though we had never talked about it, I knew very well that he would have liked more from our passionate love affair. But as far as I wanted it not be to come. So that all my dreams were all my own goals has been made suddenly dashed. At this time I was too selfish to take his help and confidence to deliver. I wanted to make the decision without his knowledge. A decision to me, at that time because of a soothing, negative outcome of a pregnancy test, spared. A decision I have made but ultimately it helped and that I'm getting further and further from the man I loved away.
***
Epilogue:
What is left of it to me today is the question of whether time I was at a positive outcome for it or would have chosen not to. A question which I will probably never find an answer and I too, love my peace of mind, would rather not see. I would not say I regret anything in my life. I've achieved everything I want to achieve. And yet I wonder if it was worth it. Whether it really was right to trade on the possibility of security and family for career, loneliness and a glass of bourbon?
> END \u0026lt;
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